Migs and Alaine

Chronicles of a Happy Married Life

Yes, I am childless and it’s none of your business

We live in a world where some people think that they can dictate the best time for you to get married and have kids. Where people are too quick to judge but never wanted to offer help.  It has always been my dream to walk down the aisle wearing a lace gown and carrying tulips. I dream of playing dress up with a baby girl, family trips and even envisioned yearly family photo ops.

Four years after our wedding and here we are sharing one roof with three rescued cats. My vision of having a “perfect family” never happened and I am not sure if it will ever happen. I have been frowned upon by some women when I told them that having babies is not on top of my priorities and was even labeled as a barren woman just because I chose to be childless. While Miguel was perfectly okay with it, I still came to a point when I became too desperate to have a baby. I ditched my contraceptive pills and we even considered adopting a relative’s kid. I was almost convinced that my life is worthless because I couldn’t bear a child. I struggled for months and I am just grateful that Miguel was there to constantly remind me that our marriage still matters to him even without kids. I realized that I should stop worrying about the things that I do not have control of. If I can’t have a baby naturally – then I should just let things be.

Last year, we visited an OB because I had an unusual menstrual cramps. Tests were made and I was told that I am healthy and can conceive anytime (fertile). I had mixed emotions. It came as a surprise because the idea of having a baby no longer excites me.

Two months later, I was not given a permit by our office physician to undergo an X-ray because my period was delayed for more than a month. I was so used to being carefree and not tracking my monthly cycle because I never experienced being pregnant. I was also busy working two jobs. I was helping a friend turned client for an almost pro-bono deal. I thought I was already pregnant but I wasn’t.

Had this happened to me two years ago, it would mean the world to me. I would have been depressed but after all that Miguel and I have been through, I could care less about what people think of me. This is my body, no one can dictate when I should have a baby or if I really should. Because a person who’s truly happy would be so busy minding their own businesses. The people who makes fun of childless couples are people who are inviting you to accompany them with their misery.

I am childless, but I am happy as I chose to be.

24 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing your story. Me and my husband can totally relate to this. Though we had one miscarriage, or more, we don’t keep track anymore. And we have 2 dogs, our babies. 😊

  2. I love this!! I would much rather live my life fully and happily and not have regrets than bring a baby into this world where you never know what the next bad thing will be. Childless doesn’t mean you don’t love, want or care for children.

    • admin

      February 5, 2017 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you, Dylan. It’s nice to know that there are people like you who understand us – childless women. 🙂

  3. Omg! you don’t have to care about what anybody says you’re free to do whatever you want , the baby will come when it’s the right time .

  4. “Ay, lumalaki ka na. Watch what you eat!” I always get this remark from the same woman everytime that we cross our paths to think that she is huge too! Lol! Tawanan na lang natin sila. We love how we live and we love who we are.

  5. You’re right when you said and chosen to believe what you stand for is right. In this chaotic world, people tend to judge without even considering the truth of the matter. Indeed, you are making the right move the moment you start ignoring what might others say about you. What really matters is the opinion of those who really care.

  6. I get this all the time. Been married for 2 and a half nearly three years and people keep asking. Back off!!! It is my life, my husbands life. If we want to start a family we will. If we can’t it is none of your business. Sorry… It bugs me no end!

  7. Great article darling. I understand you very well. I’ve been married for over 5 years and we still haven’t got any kids. I hear questions very often, but I don’t really bother anymore:) It’s not their business.

    • admin

      February 5, 2017 at 6:53 pm

      Thank you! We’ll be celebrating our 5th anniversary this December. Cheers to a happy married life, Kat! 🙂

  8. This is such a great article with a beautiful story. It’s no one’s business nor is it their lives. As long as you’re happy then you’re living well.

    -@FlunkingMonkey

  9. Hey dear!! All those people’s those who don’t have any work in this world keeps interfering in other’s life. Somethings can be avoided and i think nosy people’s should not be entertained. Keep them out and enjoy your life. Life is more happy when you live the way you want. 🙂

  10. What I liked the most is the Title. Very nuce story rhanks for sharing

  11. Digital Travel Guru

    February 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Love this post. Your right you choose to live as you want to. Great story.

  12. I love your story! Thanks for sharing!!

  13. Society really does seem to have a problem when a woman chooses to be childless.
    Thanks for sharing your story – hopefully it will make other women in the same situation feel supported!

  14. Power to you! I can understand the frustration, because I’ve seen my sister go through it. People are so ruthlessly annoying all the time even when things have nothing to do with them. There’s a local saying in our state, ‘Haathi Chale Bazaar, Kutte Bhoke Hazaar’ I.e., The elephant keeps going to the market even when thousands of stray dogs bark at it. He couldn’t care less. You’d find meaning in it if you truly understand it.

    xoxo
    Radhika
    Expressing Life

  15. Thank you dear for sharing your story!
    I do connect with you on it. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  16. In God’s Perfect Time.

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