Migs and Alaine

Chronicles of a Happy Married Life

Importance of the RSVP

I remember feeling so guilty when Migs and I were not able to attend a close friend’s wedding last year. Migs was hospitalized days before our friend’s big day and it was too late for them to scratch us out of their wedding list. Although he understood our predicament, I still feel sorry because he paid for two buffet plates for us and we weren’t able to show up.

What is an  RSVP and why is it so important?

According to Forbes Magazine, Répondez s’il vous plaît, is a French phrase that translates to “please respond.” It is with this meaning that invitation cards and similar documents are often marked with “RSVP.” It is standard practice to reply to an RSVP request whether confirming attendance or declining.

Our wedding took place in Antipolo City last December 12, 2012. It was a Wednesday and we expected excuses like work schedule, meetings, etc. So, we made sure that our Wedding was announced to our relatives one year in advance and 6 months in advance for friends and colleagues. For some, they even make Save-the-date videos while finalizing stuff on their big day.  We only invited 150 guests but unfortunately, there were still some who responded to our RSVP on the same day of our Wedding despite the efforts of our Wedding coordinators. The sad part is, we still paid for their food even if they weren’t around.

These days, you pay a minimum of Php1,500 per plate for a decent food in Metro Manila event places or hotels. In receiving invites, remember that a couple thought of you first to celebrate their special day with them.  Making them feel that their invitation is not important to you by not responding to the RSVP, might leave scars on your relationships.

If you really can’t make it, let them know at least a month or two weeks before the event so, they have the option to replace you on their list or even save money. Your friends as a couple are starting their lives together and if you can’t make it because of some valid reasons or you’re simply not into events – let them know. It will only take few seconds of your time.

Remember that not responding to an RSVP is just as worst as gatecrashing a wedding.

37 Comments

  1. Oh yes! I make sure I send in an RSVP whenever I get an invitation to any event. It’s weird sometimes that people do not take it seriously especially when they’re invited to a formal event like a wedding or an anniversary because hello! I’m pretty sure they understand how expensive the preparations are. The least they can do is to let someone else take their place if they cannot make it.

  2. RSVPs still matter. While it’s a standard practice to RSVP, people either forget to do it or they’re scared to decline to an invitation because they’re scared that they might offend the person inviting him / her. But really, it’s a very basic thing that we should give importance to. Whether a Yes or No, it’ll help the people firm up plans for events or parties.

  3. I can feel you on how hard it is to plan big events and making sure that the chosen few invitees make it. It’s really sweat and blood that we sometimes put into making our life celebrations very memorable and joyful to remember. That simple RSVP can do its trick if people really know its importance. Your post is just relevant to let people be aware of responding graciously to an invitation at the specified due time.

  4. I think it’s so rude when people don’t respond to an RSVP! I had a friend who got married recently and it really bothered her to track people down. And as you say, it costs people money. I always make sure to RSVP.

  5. OMG, yes! I experienced the importance of RSVP when we had to plan for our wedding. We had ours out of town so it was crucial that we planned details way ahead of time. It was so stressful! Unfortunately in our culture, guests kinda take this for granted. And I think they only get the importance of RSVP-ing once they plan a big event themselves. I always make sure that i confirm my attendance the minute I get an invite, just because I know how it can ease some of the pressure off the hosts.

  6. I so agree with you! I like throwing parties. And I really appreciate those who RSVP. It’s stressful when the party is fast approaching and your guests have not yet confirmed. Then, you are not sure if you need to add a buffer or stick to the count of confirmed guests.

  7. Our wedding landed the next day after a neighborhood carnaval. I wont even tell you howany people were rsvped to be there and didnt show up. There was so much food left over……

  8. RSVP is crucial especially when anything means a lot. Whether its not so important, I always respond to messages and notices the soonest time I can. We never know 🙂

  9. The RSVP is something that my mother frowned upon when I planned for my wedding because she said it’s something that the people in the province do not really care about. I still pushed through with it and included the RSVP card as an insert to our invitation letter. I’m used to responding to RSVP myself and I don’t just show up without responding. I think the RSVP culture should be more ingrained into the Philippine culture.

  10. I couldn’t agree more! You invest time, energy and money into planning such an event, I think it is only respectful to provide an RSVP!

    I will make sure I keep this tip in mind when I plan my own wedding

  11. That’s why it has been a practice now to many of sending out an RSVP invitation. I just hope that many are aware of it. I got my first understanding of it when my friend asked for a help about the invitation and shared about the RSVP thing. So I thought of finding the details of what RSVP means and there you go, that’s why whenever I receive an invite may it be in form of physical invitation or a virtual one, I always see to it to confirm my attendance. This is definitely a great post, a really informative one!

  12. I think it’s a must to reply to someone’s invitation may it be a yes or a no. Just the thought that a person took his/her time to invite you, it’s just proper to give back the time to respond. You have a nice wedding date btw. 😉

  13. I dont understand either why people would confirm and not attend with a good excuse. RSVP just doesnt work here. Only a few understands what it really means. Good post I hope it reach many.

  14. I always respond to RSVPs and make sure to explain why in case I cannot come to their event. Because I know the feeling of sending invites, too, and asking for RSVPs. Sa case nga lang namin ni hubby, noong wedding namin, we booked for 200 guests sa catering services namin and sobra sobra pa ang dumating. I guess most people don’t understand pa talaga yung importance and the reason why event’s hosts are asking for RSVP. Nakakastress din talaga magpa-party lalo kapag wedding haha

  15. Some people forget about the importance of RSVP. I always make sure to respond to invites and block the dates for it.

  16. I remember before, (On our wedding) someone didn’t respond to our RSVP invitation (assuming they will come since they said yes before) here comes the wedding day.. the family of 10 didn’t show up 🙁

    I agree, imagine the cost of the catering (per plate) for the newly weds.

  17. That’s so true . It would leave scars if we ignore RSVP requests from friends for events that are so important for them. Maybe the Filipino culture isn’t used to it, or I dont know.

  18. AGREE 100Percent! I think RSVP is one of the things that will determine a person’s level of “class”, proper breeding, and most especially consideration for others.

  19. My husband and I are planning to celebrate my eldest’s birthday at Jollibee. I’ll make sure to include RSVP sa invitation para we know who and how many to expect.

  20. I can relate! We also booked 150 guests during our wedding reception. The 20 was just buffer because, you know, some people tend bring uninvited companions. So we invited around 130. But only 105 came. I felt kinda sad because some of them said yes but failed to inform us that they’ll cancel. 🙁 we handpicked everyone because they were special.

  21. This is a thing that filipinos rarely do or are afraid to do. Either we are afraid to tell the reason or just simply don’t like to attend. In other countries, this is a must.

  22. Here in the Philippines there’s still a percentage of people who do not RSVP even for events where doing a headcount is necessary.

  23. it an important matter, this rsvp
    because they will based their budget on the how many rsvp’s
    hope every one know what this 4 letters means to every occasion

  24. A lot of people still do not know how that they should respond. 🙁 Maybe because not everyone has been educated how it works? I don’t know. Just thinking out loud but nakaka stress xa talaga. 🙂

  25. Yes rsvp is very important and you really have to reply whether or not you are coming. I had this on my wedding day and its just sad that people whom you expected not coming were the ones present without even telling!

  26. This is true. Hirap pa naman magfill ng seats at the last minute and it’s true din that not RSVP-ing makes the one inviting feel neglected and unimportant. Ano ba naman yung magtext or tumawag to say you can’t make it? It’s a way of helping din the one who invited you para di mangarag at the last minute.

  27. RSVP is in the invite for a reason but somehow a lot of people doesn’t respond immediately.

  28. Its sad that others wasn’t that mindful to rsvp’s and can only respond too late. So, all we can do was to follow up on their response for final headcount.

  29. I so get you! It’s so frustrating whenever people fail to RSVP or don’t do it on time. Unfortunately, this is what happens here in the Philippines. It’s something we really have to change in our culture.

  30. I can still count the number of RSVPs we got for our wedding. It’s a bit of non practice here, huh?

  31. Replying to RSVPs shows you care and makes the person/people who invited you feel important. It’s a must when getting invited to an event. Unfortunately, there are people who choose to ignore it.

  32. Sadly, not most people realize the value of RSVP. It sure will save everyone from a lot of trouble if one would be courteous enough to RSVP for an invitation. And, yes, it sure can leave a scar in friendships and relationships.

  33. I know right! My French teacher used to ask me why Filipinos don’t RSVP. I remembered saying that a paper invitation should always be coupled with a phone call or a text message to make sure. Some people just don’t get RSVP. MIGHT Be a cultural note?

  34. I make sure to resppnd to an invitation especially one that requires an RSVP. The party hosts usually do need to finalize the headcount and it really helps them to estimate the number of guests coming in.

  35. I find it rude when people not responding to RSVP. That’s why I always make sure to respond because I know how hard to organize a party. It’s the least I can do to help them, by confirming.

  36. I definitely agree and same goes with event invites. I just feel terrible when people will confirm and will not show up Just imagine how toxic it is to prepare an event for guests. It’s quite unethical too to not respond. Oh well.. people can be insensitive sometimes.

  37. I feel you same here I asked for an RSVP they said yes but during no event they did not came. That is why if I receive an invitation if there is a RSVP i always respond para hindi sayang

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